#FOMO got you down?

#FOMO… We all know the feeling, right? It’s the Fear Of Missing Out on fun, news, the latest restaurant, and so on.

Feeling FOMO is not the problem. What IS the problem is when FOMO has a vote in your decisions. From what I’ve seen and personally experienced, FOMO loves to be a backseat driver, telling you what you should be doing. And, here’s what’s also true: If you let FOMO drive, you’ll end up in Stressful Busy City.

FOMO can be sneaky too. It’s a master of disguise. I’m an avid reader, averaging a book a week, mostly nonfiction, with a few novels thrown in for good measure. I love to learn and wholeheartedly believe it’s important. But, the truth is, I can’t possibly absorb, process, and fully implement all this knowledge gained at the pace I’m reading. Yet, I continue to feed my unending thirst for new books.

Is it a thirst for knowledge? Sure. Is it also FOMO disguised? Yes. I can easily overwhelm myself with the books I haven’t read yet and the knowledge I haven’t yet implemented from these books. So this year, I’ve tried a different strategy that has actually quieted my FOMO. Rather than consume more information each week, I decided to consume more deeply and savor. The focus has been on re-reading, re-taking courses and going deeper with the content.

Here’s what I learned from this experiment:

1. Being in a different place with different challenges, I learned new and different concepts from re-reading the same books.
2. There were lessons I had to re-learn because they hadn’t taken root the first time. The learnings were likely pushed out by the new and shiny ideas and quickly forgotten.
3. By not consuming more, my FOMO has actually calmed down. I no longer worry about what I’m not reading. FOMO is insidious, and feeding it is not the answer. In fact, by NOT feeding it, we disempower FOMO.

FOMO has the power to distract you and take you away from your focus. When you can recognize it for what it is, you can minimize its power over you. It will probably always be there, but instead of being the back seat driver of your life, you can have FOMO sit quietly and enjoy the ride. You become free to drive to your chosen destination without the distraction of FOMO.

Here are some signs you might be suffering from unhelpful, stressful FOMO:

• If you have a crammed email inbox full of promotions and news that you often don’t have time to read, you might be suffering from FOMO.
• If you have an overflowing physical inbox of coupons, promos, articles, and notices you’ve been meaning to read, you might be suffering from FOMO.
• If you have a crammed calendar with events, socials, and meetings, you might be suffering from FOMO.
• If you have piles of books, movies, and TV shows (virtual queued-up or physical) that you’ve been meaning to get to, you might be suffering from FOMO.
• If you have boxes of projects gathering dust which you hope to get to “someday,” you might be suffering from FOMO.
• If you’re constantly checking social media and the news to see what’s happening, you might be suffering from FOMO.

If FOMO is driving and you don’t like where it’s taking you, the first step is to recognize it and acknowledge it for what it is. Own up to how you feed FOMO with your thoughts and actions. Get clear on how you want to feel instead (focused, less-stressed, spacious, and so on) and make decisions to create those results.

Let FOMO know you got this. Consistency is key for FOMO to get the message that you know where you’re going and it’s just along for the ride.