The Confidence Killer

by Chieko Watanabe   

 

*Excerpt from the telefest: Fun, Fearless you: Three Keys to Rock Unshakable Confidence

  

There’s one big mistake that people make that kills their confidence fast and hard. No doubt you’ve made this mistake before, but if you’re like most folks and make this mistake a LOT, it will stop you from living your true potential.

 

 

The #1 confidence killer mistake is this: Being your own dream crusher.

 

A dream crusher is pretty much exactly as it sounds. It’s someone in your life (maybe you) that squanders your dream by telling you that yours is just a silly pipe dream, you’re not smart enough, you’re too old and starting too late, you’re not pretty enough or don’t have the right personality, you don’t have the right talent or education, and so on. You’ve probably had some folks in your life that have told you stuff like this.

 

Equally harmful, but sneakier are the “reasonable” dream crushers. These stealth dream crushers are harder to spot because they can sound like the voice of reason and they mean well. This species of dream crushers say things like, “Well, it’s a difficult economy right now to start a business,” or “That’s a really hard industry to make a living in, and it’s going to take you a long time to learn how to do that and build a reputation.” They also say things like, “You are so great at _____, why don’t you do that instead? It’s more secure.” Sound familiar?

 

Dream crushers are real. They exist in the world and you have to deal with them. But, what if the dream crusher is you? Have you ever said these things to yourself? If you’ve ever thought, “I’m not good enough, I don’t have what it takes, I’m too old, I’m too young, I can’t work that hard, I don’t know if I’m strong enough,” and so on, it means you are your own dream crusher.

 

Here’s the truth. Nothing will kill your confidence faster than making this mistake. You’ll have to face dream crushers in the world, but you absolutely DO NOT and SHOULD NOT be your own dream crusher.

 

Instead, you need to be your own cheerleader. Not only that, you need to be your BIGGEST cheerleader. Corny, I know – but hear me out.

 

Imagine someone you love dearly – your best friend. She has a big dream to start her own business, but wasn’t super sure of herself. She doesn’t have the confidence that she can pull it off. However, YOU know that she can because she’s such an amazing and awesome woman with something special to offer. You’d tell her, “You can ABSOLUTELY do this, you were so meant to do this, you’re so smart, you’ll learn as you go, you’re so creative and crazy talented!” You’d give her encouragement like, “Hey, the sooner you start, the sooner you get there!” and “Shoot for the moon! Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.” (That’s a Les Brown quote.)

 

You wouldn’t hesitate to stand behind your BFF and offer her words of support. So why aren’t you telling yourself the same things about your dreams? To be your biggest cheerleader means when you wake-up, you say to yourself, “Self – you can do it! If so and so can do it, you can do it too. Just take one step at a time. Have courage – you’ll figure it out as you go.”

 

Feels really different from the dream crusher right? This simple shift in self-talk can be the difference between giving up or knocking it out of the park. Be your own cheerleader and go get’m!